Not Even After Death, Will We Part
By: Elizabeth Quart

The scratching of her pen against the pale paper drifted around the comforter where she sat. Tilting her head side to side she tried to retrace the sights she had seen, the feelings she had experienced and that person she had met. Her eyes rested on the window that leaked in the growing sunlight. The lace curtains, she had received from her Grandmother as a wedding present, seemed to only accentuate the delicate rays by creating a shadowed pattern of diamonds and swirls upon the floor by her feet. She glanced back at the form outstretched under the sheets. A young man, not much older than herself laid there in the softly light room. She blushed slightly as her thumb slowly fiddled with her small wedding ring.
The alarm beside the young man’s head began to buzz and chirp in the silence and startled her out of her gaze. As he rustled under the sheets reaching over to turn off the alarm, she quickly snapped the small journal shut and hurried it into her bedside drawer. After turning off the alarm the young man then looked over at her, he had obviously noticed the snap of her journal and the fact that she had already been awake.
“Were you awake all this time?”
“Yeah…”
“Is something wrong? You normally don’t wake up early.”
She hesitated slightly before forcing a smile, her concerned face sweetly hidden in the sunlight. As they dressed themselves for the day to come, he kept noticing her glancing back towards her bedside table, always with her face away from him. It bothered him that he was unable to read her expression and that she seemed determined not to bring it up. He escorted her to the front door and wished her a good day at work, complete with a kiss.
With the front door firmly shut, all his attention was drawn to her bedside drawer. Walking, as if to his own firing execution, he entered their bedroom silently afraid the walls might hear his suspicious steps. He reached down to the handle of the drawer but stopped before pulling it open. Staring at the drawer he contemplated whether this was considered invasion of privacy, but were they not just married 5 months ago? With his decision made, he dragged out the drawer from its forgotten safety.
Inside was a small brown hardcover journal, a pen, an opened Kleenex packet that crinkled with every movement the pen made and a barrette she had almost worn to bed the night before. He gently picked up the small booklet looked at it front and back, but there were no titles or labels on the cover to hint at what might be inside. Opening the cover to the first page he found in her hand writing, “Dreams?” And he continued to read.

April 9th
It’s the day before the wedding! I’m really quite excited but maybe I’ve been working too hard on all the last minute details. I just woke up from a nap I took this afternoon. It was weird because I fell asleep instantly. I had a weird dream where I met this young boy. I don’t remember much about what was going on around me but he was wearing some kind of period dress. I might look into it further, but something almost 19th century I think. I’m not sure if I was a person or not but he didn’t look at me at all. I just watched him go about his normal day. He seemed like a very nice boy.

April 18th
We just got back from our honeymoon last night. It was very romantic! I almost wish we didn’t have to come back haha! I had another weird dream over the trip though. It was the same young boy but he looked a little older. He was wearing the same old style of clothing but I think he was around the age of 8 or so now. I was following him around everywhere. No one noticed me but he did glance up at me for the first time! For some reason I was very happy in the dream.

May 3rd
I took another nap today. It was my day off and I even went to bed early but I felt so tired this afternoon. Maybe the early summer heat is getting to me. I dreamed of him again, the young boy. He looked up at me a lot more in this dream, I was surprised but maybe he was looking at something behind me? I don’t know, I keep my eyes on him all the time and don’t notice anything else.

May 11th
I dreamt of the boy again, but it was while I was sleeping last night. He’s gotten taller and his clothing isn’t so childish anymore. He’s still quite young though. He looks at me all the time now and it makes me happy. Even though I’m very happy, I never smile. But I don’t frown either. I just watch him.

June 1st
I took a nap on my break today at work. The dreams are starting to cover more time than they used to. In my dream he started talking to me. I don’t say anything back, but it’s like he knows what I’m thinking. He responds with acknowledgment to exactly how I feel. Maybe he can read my mind? But now he’s constantly looking at me and barely where he’s walking. He almost tripped a number of times and I began to get worried. I think he’s about 16 years old now in the dream. I’m starting to feel weird after these dreams.

June 7th
I had another weird dream during my nap today. The boy is now a young man about 17 or so. He keeps being introduced to beautiful young ladies by his parents. The girl’s are all wearing very elegant Victorian style dresses. This really must be the 19th century or so. The boy doesn’t seem very happy around them, he constantly runs away to a small park. The weather is very rainy all the time and it shows in his eyes. But he smiles so happily when he looks up at me. I’ve started to wonder why I’m always beside him, and much taller than him. It doesn’t feel like I’m walking or anything, more like a balloon attached to his wrist. I get dragged around floating in the air wherever he goes.

June 12th
The dreams are coming more frequently now. In the dream today he got in a fight with his parents and ran to the park. When we got there he stopped in the gate and stared at something inside. I too glanced up and saw a beautiful flowering tree! The sunlight was making all the small flowers glow brighter than any flower I’ve seen in my life! I’m not sure how long I was staring at the tree before I heard his voice. He called me Angela. When I looked over at him when he called me that, he smiled and laughed. He said that ‘Angela’ will be my name. He also asked me if I liked the flowers on the tree. I did but I couldn’t say anything nor could I nod in answer. I just stared at him. He walked over to the tree and broke off a small branch that was covered in many of the tiny flowers. Turning to hand it to me he noticed I didn’t reach for the gift. Apologizing he said he would be a gentlemen and hold it for me. And then I woke up.

July 3rd
Its been a while since I dreamed of the young man, and I have to admit I’ve been pretty sad. I missed seeing his smile in my dreams, but I’ve noticed that I get the same feeling when I see my husband smile. I’m not sure what that means really. But the dream started where my last one left off beside the flowering tree. Beside him, as we went down a street, he kept talking to me about all kinds of things and people. I’m very happy where I am. His voice is very soothing and I want to see him grow forever. While waiting to cross a busy street, he notices a small girl run out into the road after a ball she had been playing with. There were many carriages and horses everywhere but the young man ran out and saved the girl! But… He was trampled and struck by a carriage. I could not move. All this time I had been glued to his side, enjoying every glance he gave me and every word he spoke. Except now I was no longer by his side. Something kept me where I was and I could do nothing about it except to watch him.

August 6th
This past month has been horrible. His bloodied face, looking up at me, is all I see now when I close my eyes. I’m starting to loose sleep and when I do sleep I haven’t dreamt of him. I’m worried. I do not want the last thing I saw to be my only memory of him. I love that boy. I love him!

August 10th
Finally, I was able to dream of him again last night. It’s the scene of the accident and I had to watch that horrific accident again. Time seemed to stop when his soft fragile body came to a rest on the cobble stone road. He was lying on his back, his head turned directly at me and that beautiful branch of flowers still gripped gently in his hand. He blinked slowly as he lost his strength, but still, he watches me with that innocent smile. I do nothing. I do not move. I do not smile. I do not cry. I just watch him as he says my ‘name’ one last time. And all the tears I could not cry in my dream, rushed out when I woke up. They were silent, but warm tears.

August 13th
My dream last night was like one I’ve never had before. I felt complete and utter despair. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. I wanted to scream, but I had no voice. I wanted him to live, but he was dead. Despite all of the pain I found myself in world of an indescribable pure white. Nothing can compare or even begin to explain the place I was in. But I felt so alone without the young man there. There was a sound in the distance though. I couldn’t tell if it was a voice or someone singing, but I felt comforted. My once selfish thoughts of wanting to have died with the young man were suddenly embraced in warmth. And, finally, I found myself sobbing both in sadness and relief. The last part of my dream I don’t remember very well. I felt different, in that I wasn’t being dragged around like a balloon, but that I was moving on my own free will towards something I’ve never dreamed would come true.

August 15th
I’ve been afraid to go back to sleep after that last dream. I don’t want to see an empty place where the young man should be. My husband is starting to get worried. There are times I stand and stare at him in shock. Sometimes he looks like the young man from my dreams and I want to cry in joy. But how do you explain to your husband that you’ve been dreaming of a young man, who looks just like him, from hundreds of years ago? For some reason though, I feel like some complex puzzle is finally coming together.

His hands brushed the page aside until it rested on the last, and most recent entry. He wondered if this had been what his wife was doing earlier that morning. If this was the page that drew all of his wife’s attention since daybreak, then he will confront her fears with her and help her through them.

August 16th
I don’t think I will be dreaming of the young man anymore. I wish I could’ve dreamed about his life forever but I think I might understand why soon. Its been on the tip of my tongue since the beginning but I cannot get it out. Maybe there is one more clue before I can solve what all these dreams meant. I feel it’s something very important and that I’ve been waiting a very, very long time for. I hope today is a good day, for both of the individuals in my dreams and myself.

Just as slowly as the front door had been closed, it opened with just as much care. She walked in and found herself surprised that the TV and the entire house was silent. Curious if anyone was around, she walked through the rooms of the small house. When she got to their bedroom she was worried slightly to see her husband sitting on her side of their bed.
“Is everything alright!? Are you sick?” Stepping into the room she felt a cold sensation pass through her body. Her husband stood up and turned around holding the small journal in his hands. Their eyes met and she knew what he had done. She was not angry but she was not happy either. Relief was all that could come close to expressing the once overpowering anxiety that had been following her since the dreams had started. The silence between them was just as deafening to her as the dream of watching the young man die before her. His eyes were clear and innocent like the young man in her dreams. She had always noticed the resemblance, but something, something was different now.
Looking at her across the room he noticed her small shoulders seem to have widened slowly and for an instant, just briefly, he swore he saw wings. Regardless of having been caught red handed, he smiled a smile that he seemed to have been locking away deep inside. And when she saw him smile all that weight, all that pressure, was suddenly gone and she collapsed to her knees. Tears of the present and the past swiftly darted down her face as the images of the young man she dreamed of, and her husband, merged together before her. And she cried happily as she leapt into the arms of the one she’d always loved now and into eternity.