Not Even After Death... - 2.0

Not Even After Death, Will We Part
By: Elizabeth Quart

The scratching of her pen against the pale paper drifted around the comforter where he laid. His eyes rested on the wall next to their bed that grew a brighter shade of white with the increasing morning sunlight. His wife, who was not much younger than himself, sat on the edge of their bed in the softly light room.
The alarm beside the young man’s head began to buzz and chirp in the silence and startled him out of his gaze. As he rustled under the sheets reaching over to turn off the alarm, she quickly snapped her small journal shut and hurried it into her bedside drawer. After turning off the alarm he looked over at her, since he had obviously noticed the snap of the journal and the fact that she had been awake.
“Were you awake all this time?”
“Yeah…”
“Is something wrong? You normally don’t wake up early.”
She hesitated slightly before forcing a smile. Even as newly weds he seemed to know so much about her except what she put in that journal. As they got up for the day to come, he noticed her glancing back towards her bedside table. It bothered him that he was unable to read her expression, and that she seemed determined not to bring it up. He watched her head into the bathroom to take a shower and he noticed her pause slightly in the doorway before continuing in.
With the door firmly shut, all his attention was drawn to her bedside drawer. Rounding the side of corner of the bed he reached down to the handle of the small drawer. He paused before pulling it open, staring at the drawer he contemplated whether this is considered invasion of privacy. But weren’t they just married 5 months ago? He should be able to look without getting in trouble… Right? His decision was made as he dragged out the drawer.
Inside he found a small brown hardcover journal, a pen, an opened Kleenex packet that crinkled with every movement the pen maked and a barrette she had almost worn to bed the night before. Gently he picked up the small booklet looking at it front and back. But there were no titles or labels on the cover to hint at what contents might be written inside. Opening the cover to the first page he found in her hand writing, a title of sorts,  saying “Dreams?” He continued to read.

April 9th
It’s the day before the wedding! I’m really quite excited but maybe I’ve been working too hard on all the last minute details. I just woke up from a nap I took this afternoon. It was weird because I fell asleep instantly. I had a weird dream where I met this young boy. I don’t remember much about what was going on around me but he was wearing some kind of period dress. I might look into it further, but something almost 19th century I think. I’m not sure if I was a person or not but he didn’t look at me at all. I just watched him go about his normal day and he seemed like a very nice boy. Never had a dream like that before.

April 18th
We just got back from our honeymoon last night. It was very romantic! I almost wish we didn’t have to come back! I had another weird dream over the trip though. It was the same young boy but he looked a little older. He was wearing the same old style of clothing but I think he was around the age of 8 or so this time. I was following him around everywhere, but no one noticed me. He did glance up at me once. For some reason I was very happy in the dream when he looked at me.  He looked up at me a lot more later on in the dream too. I was surprised but I keep my eyes on him all the time and don’t notice anything else. I feel like I have to protect him. Maybe I’m having dreams about wanting to be a mother?

May 11th
I dreamt of the boy again. He’s gotten taller and his clothing isn’t so childish anymore. He’s still quite young though. He looks at me all the time now with a smile and it makes me happy. Even though I’m very happy, I never smile back. But its not like I frown either. I just watch him. I noticed the dreams are starting to cover more time than they used to. In my dream he finally started talking to me. I did’t say anything back, but it’s like he knows what I’m thinking. He responds with acknowledgment to exactly how I feel. Maybe he can read my mind? But now he’s constantly looking at me and barely where he’s walking. He almost tripped a number of times and I began to get worried. I think he’s about 16 years old now in the dream. I’m starting to feel weird after these dreams because it’s the same boy over and over. It’s like a movie playing, in a way.

June 7th
I had another weird dream during my nap today. The boy is now a young man about 17 or so. He keeps being introduced to beautiful young ladies by his parents. The girl’s are all wearing very elegant Victorian style dresses. This really must be the 19th century or so. The boy doesn’t seem very happy around the young girls, so he constantly runs away to a small park that isn’t too far away. The weather is very rainy all the time and it shows in his eyes. But he smiles happily when he looks up at me. I’ve started to wonder why I’m always beside him, and much taller than him. It doesn’t feel like I’m walking or anything, more like a balloon attached to his wrist. I get dragged around floating in the air wherever he goes. It’s a weird feeling but kind of relaxing too. Maybe it’s an out of body experience?

June 12th
The dreams are coming more frequently now. In the dream today he got in an arguement with his parents about something and ran to the park. When we got there he stopped in the gate and stared at something inside. I looked up and saw a beautiful flowering tree! I don’t remember what kind of flowers they were but it’s very nostalgic. The sunlight was making all the small flowers glow like nothing I’ve seen in my life! I’m not sure how long I was staring at the tree before I heard the young man’s voice. He called me “Angela.” I looked over at him when he called me that and he smiled and laughed. He said that ‘Angela’ will be my name. I always liked that name but I don’t remember what the name’s meaning is. He also asked me if I liked the flowers on the tree. I did but I couldn’t say anything nor could I nod in answer. I just stared at him. He then walked over to the tree and broke off a small branch that was covered in many of the tiny flowers. He turned to hand it to me until he noticed I didn’t reach out for the gift. Apologizing he said he would be a gentlemen and hold it for me until later. And then I woke up. My husband once did that as well, getting me a small branch of beautiful pink flowers. That was how we first met.

July 3rd
Its been a while since I dreamed of the young man, and I have to admit I’ve been pretty sad. I missed seeing his smile in my dreams, but I’ve noticed that I get the same feeling when I see my husband smile. I’m not sure what that means really. But the dream started where my last one left off beside the flowering tree. Beside him, as we went down a street, he kept talking to me about all kinds of things and people. I’m very happy where I am. His voice is very soothing and I want to see him grow forever. While waiting to cross a busy street, he notices a small girl run out into the road after a ball she had been playing with. There were many carriages and horses everywhere but the young man ran out and saved the girl! But… He was trampled and struck by a carriage. I could not move. All this time I had been glued to his side, enjoying every glance he gave me and every word he spoke. Except now I was no longer by his side. Something kept me where I was and I could do nothing about it except to watch him. His bloodied face, looking up at me, is all I see now when I close my eyes. I’m worried. I do not want the last thing I saw of the young man to be his death. I think I love him. But at the same time he feels so familiar.

August 10th
I was able to dream of him again last night. It’s the scene of the accident and I had to watch that horrific accident again. Time seemed to stop when his soft fragile body came to a rest on the cobble stone road. He was lying on his back, his head turned directly at me and that beautiful branch of flowers still gripped in his hand. He blinked slowly as he was losing his strength but he still watches me with that innocent smile. I do nothing. I do not move. I do not smile. I do not cry. I just watch him as he says my ‘name’ one last time. All the tears I could not cry in my dream, rushed out when I woke up. I woke up my husband and he embraced me trying to get me to calm down. And when I did I felt the same feeling of when I saw the young boy in my dreams smile at me.

August 13th
My dream last night was like one I’ve never had before. I felt complete and utter despair. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. I wanted to scream, but I had no voice. I wanted the young man in my dream to live, but he was dead. Despite all of the pain, I found myself in world of an indescribable white. Nothing could compare or even begin to explain the place I was in. But I felt alone without the young man there. After a while I noticed a sound in the distance. I couldn’t tell if it was a voice or someone singing, but I felt comforted listening to it. My once selfish thoughts of wanting to have died with the young man were suddenly embraced in warmth. And, finally, I found myself sobbing both in sadness and relief in the dream. The last part of my dream I don’t remember very well. I didn’t feel different anymore, in that I wasn’t being dragged around like a balloon, but that I was moving on my own free will towards something. My husband is starting to get worried because at times I stand and stare at him in shock. Sometimes he looks like the young man from my dreams and I want to cry in joy. But how do you explain to your husband that you’ve been dreaming of a young man, who looks just like him, from hundreds of years ago? For some reason though, I feel like some complex puzzle is finally coming together.

His hands brushed the page aside until it rested on the last, and most recent entry. He wondered if this entry was what his wife was doing earlier that morning. If this was the page that drew all of his wife’s attention since they got up, then he will confront her dreams and help her through them.

August 16th
I don’t think I will be dreaming of the young man anymore. I wish I could’ve dreamed about his life forever but I think I understand why. It’s been on the tip of my tongue since the beginning but I can’t get it out. Maybe there is one more clue before I can solve what all these dreams meant. I feel it’s something very important and that I’ve been waiting a very, very long time for. I feel today is going to be a good day.

Just as slowly as the bathroom door had been closed, it opened with just as much care. She walked in and was surprised to see her husband sitting on her side of their bed.
“Is everything alright!? Are you sick?” Her husband stood up and turned around holding the small journal in his hands. Their eyes met and he knew what he had done. She did not look angry but she was not happy either. Relief was all that could come close to expressing the once overpowering anxiety that he had seen on her face for the past few months.
Looking at her across the room he noticed her small shoulders seem to have widened slowly and for an instant, just briefly, he swore he saw wings. Regardless of having been caught red handed, he smiled a smile that seemed to have been locked away deep inside. And when she saw him smile tears of the present and the past swiftly darted down her face as she realized her dreams were of her husband. She cried happily as she leapt into his outstretched arms, the one she had always loved now and into eternity.